Sagadahoc Story #70: 12/13/98.

Waiting for a sign.



One large day after another. Hard frost at night fragments the crust on clay, and the midday sun turns it into sliperage. You shuck off layers all day, but.. pause a moment.. and a wild chill comes out of the high country, driving the birds before it.

Up to my snoot in sawdust and mind wandering, I was cutting out cockpit seats for a 18 inch sloop on the trusty bandsaw, fine mahogany scent rising, when I shoved my thumb into the blade. Damn. Pinched it tight. Wrapped it in tape. Shut down everything, and pulled the door behind me. Time to flail around in the air, and beat the dust off. Refocus.
Dragged out the bike, whistled up the dog, and rolled down the drive. Pumped up to the powerline, then set off along the access road. So called. A trio of pickup tracks across a pasture then a braided way of ruts through the puckerbrush, with megawatts throbbing overhead.


Bowdoinham International
The old and new powerlines from Wiscasset cut across the Cathance bend out back here. The big double array marches up from Bud's camp, alongside the airfield, across 24, takes a hard left at Frank's woods, and goes straight shot for the narrows above Farmhouse turn. The old line jumps the river below Mr. Mann's house and aims cross lots for the same spot. I can ride hill and gully out one corridor and back the other to the road, then home. It always seems like such a good idea.

Sprinting for the bloodrush, I'm on my face in the first hundred yards. Rutted into a tumble. CC sniffs me, circles through the sweetfern and juniper, while I catch air, and recompose my dignity. More cautiously, I shift down and waddle along the ridges between tire tracks. Trials riding. Put your foot down it sinks in. Picks up a glob of clay. Dodging gumbo and wheeler ruts, sweat rises, and the speed quickens.

This year the impact of four-wheelers is more visible. The rec vehicle of choice, these ATVs don't care what the conditions. With snow and ice so iffy, it's more sure fun to hotrod offroad on knuckly balloon tires than wait for snowmobile weather. They can churn right through the soggy. And they're great on the snow, too. So the back trails are grooved by 4-wheeling. My neighbors' kids and grandkids have scoured out a raceway in Wally's woods behind our house. Here in CMP country it looks like an 18th century byway. Tangled skeins of mired ruts. Eroded into running sores. I'm slipsliding the course, muttering imprecations.

Airfield

Where the access road cuts through clay banks and dives into the gullies it's collapsed into a slippery chute, and the wheeler tracks ride up and around, through the bracken, tip up, and letter rip eehawing down to the guzzles. CC has to paddle her feet in the boggy stream beds. I carry over, and we scrabble up the greasy slopes together. Bike covered with mud. I'm starting to laugh. Feel a light breeze licking my neck.

My eyes are opening. Twisting sprays of sallowgreen groundcover pattern the slopes. Explosions of bright red winterberries. Walls of evergreen.The solemn parade of public utility, draped in triads to the diminishing distance. A flock of robins. The birds are bunched together in expectation, but it's a long slippery slope to Winter this year. Careening along a serpentine path I dodge a running cross drain and jam wheel catapult ass over bike over slam. Entangled in my own foolishness. So much for getting away.

Saw your thumb. Crash your bike.Wrench your neck. Maybe time to step back and contemplate where this trajectory is headed. Something cold pressing up behind you? A winter beast out stalking? I peddled the rest of the way more circumspectly, CC cantering alongside, thinking about bear sign.
Earlier this year I was inspired to carve a polar bear out of a figured ash crotch, rays shivering in the grain. I knew him to be one of the shaman dancers. Another gateway to the American mythos. I see cultural streams converging in a dance of symbolic figures. One stream crosses Beringia, where the white bear is totem. I can imagine fur-clad hunters on an icy journey, swinging bullroarers. Wielding atlatles. Stalking and stalked by a great white bear. So this crouching beast was a promise of dancers to come, and a threat to be faced. Guardian of the North gate.


This Fall a piece of cypress emerged into a fat seal, rolling at ease on her side, laughing at the sky. A holder. One of the rubbing creatures. For luck. Peggy has been putting them so the bear is just kissing the seal's ear. Chilling. A kiss of mortality? If there's magic in the carvings, you best pay attention to what it signals. And conjure emblems leading to joy and light. Peggy says it's OK so long as the seal is laughing. Just a kiss.
If you believe there's synchronicity between the symbolism you encounter and the inner life, you should heed a pricking of your thumb. And spinal insults always warn me of fundamental confrontations, times to change my thinking. A pain in the neck is a wakeup call. Two calls is a sign the spirit is rising, and meanings lie just below the surface. You might reveal them with a sander, or a file.. with a little luck.


Dancers
Luckily I'm grinding away at the wood pile. Composing an animated double portrait for a Christmas deadline. I haven't figured the whole message in this one, yet. I know what it's supposed to say on the surface, though, and that's enough to go on. That's usually the way with commissioned pieces: the inner symbolism only becomes apparent after the outer message takes shape. Trying to figure out the hidden signs in the work at hand keeps me alert to the magic, or befuddled, depending on the day. It's been a week full of messages.

After the show last weekend we came home with a trio of bagheaded dancers wearing antlers (I traded Susy a raven with a rose in its mouth for them), a quartet of Arlene's mythic drawings (including a Purification of Ravens), and a headful of visions. Today I'm seeing dancers in a cold time. Ravens with bows and arrows to pierce the dark things. A caribou antler sled to carry life across the ice. A great white bear devouring a spreading evil. A child of light in the belly of an angel. A laughing Lady of the Seals.

Raven Purification

No ice for seals here yet, though. And a lucky thing for the sloop "Transition." She's the only boat left in the river, now that David has hauled the BethAlison. A deepwater craft, hidden upriver in a divorce dispute, with the owner's new girlfriend a non-sailor, she's now suffering from neglect. Delano tried to get Transition out on the expensive new trailer that was fabricated for her, but the screw jacks were placed wrong, and she rock and rolled like a bronco when they started up the ramp. She's back on a mooring now, batteries dead, diesel pooched, tides too small, river rats amused. Be fun to skate around her.
The boys are ready. Bill has mended the ramps to Little Fish. Jimmy has a new plow truck. Bert and Andy bought a string of spare camps from an outfit shutting down. Dr. Bob is rigging skids for his new shanty. The town sandpile is mounded high on the cleared pad at the old mill. Woodsheds are full. We're ready to face the bear.
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